Boss: Urgh. What happened?
Kid: We shot you with an EMP and killed the nanites.
Boss: Good. Now stop pointing your sidearm at me.
“Kid did the right thing again today. Gotta raise his pay, but do it in small increments. Maybe he won’t notice.” - Boss personal recording #196
Kid: Okay, that won’t hold long. You go open the shielding. I’ve got armor, I can hold him for a few seconds.
Kid reading writing: “I don’t do engineering.”
Kid: The Boss said “everyone trains for everything.” Great time to find out you’re an exception.
Kid: The QVC at the back of the ship generates an EMP at something like 30 hertz. If I can open the shielding just a crack, we could probably blast just one person with it and not damage the rest of the ship.
Kid: Let’s start with Jackman or Eddie, I’m pretty sure we won’t have a hard time restraining them.
The giant dark shape of Keith standing up looms in the background.
Kid: Or, you know, we could start with the big guy.
Kid: You’re suggesting some sort of EMP!
Kid: It follows that nanobots would be too small to effectively shield against a focused electromagnetic pulse, even if they are military spec!
Bender holding a pad in front of the Kid.
Writing: “Don’t get cocky.”
Kid: Wait, if your immune system kills nanobots...
Kid: Maybe I can synthesize a serum from your blood that will kill them in everyone else!
Narration: Sorry, kids, you're going to have to keep your sci-fi a little more realistic than that.
Kid: Bender! Are you...? You're not going to kill me?
Bender spits on a microscope tray
Kid looks into the microscope
Kid: Okay, immune system kills nanobots. I'll add that to you list of super-powers.
Kid looking into a microscope.
Kid hears a rustling behind him.
Kid turns quickly to point a gun at the Bender.
Narration: This would be a more effective standoff if the Kid were anywhere close to as fast as the Bender is. Also, if the Bender were actually infected.
Kid thinking: Okay, the entire crew is compromised. I need to figure out how to kill aggressive nanobots without killing my friends.
Kid thinking: All I have are my wits and this 47.09-classic loaded with stunners.
Shot of the kid looking at a huge dark shape laying on the floor.
Kid thinking: Also a fully stocked medical bay with a super-soldier unconscious and probably compromised on the floor.
Kid: Okay Eddie, I’m decked out. Let’s go see what’s up with Pex.
Kid: Uh, Jackman? You okay?
Jackman lunges at the Kid.
Boss punches her to the floor.
Boss: Kid, I probably don’t have long to talk.
Boss: Nanites have infected those of us not wearing armor. They’re taking control of bodies.
Boss: Pex, Eddie, and Jackman have all tried to kill me. Keith is unconcious, not sure why. My engineering is probably the only reason I haven’t turned yet.
Boss: Kid, it’s up to you to figure out how to kill these things, or shoot us out an airlock. I may not have much...
Boss: In fact, you should probably knock me out right now.
Jackman: Boss, this is bad.
Jackman: Some nanites are very aggressive. We don’t know where these came from, and they might not exactly have our best interests in mind. I’d recommend quarantine for him and Pex. No one goes near them till we figure out what’s going on.
Keith: So, Eddie just bit me. I laid him out, but I might have broken him a little.
Jackman: Screwed. We’re screwed.